Controlling Behaviour and Disrespect: Attempts to control, belittle, or disregard a partner’s feelings or boundaries.
Below is a complete, ready-to-use EFT Tapping Script designed specifically to heal controlling behaviour and patterns of disrespect in a relationship.
It is written with accountability, compassion, and emotional regulation at its core — not blame or shame.
You may read this word-for-word for yourself or use it professionally with clients.
EFT Tapping Script
Healing Controlling Behaviour & Disrespect in Relationships
Preparation
Take a slow breath in through the nose…
and gently release it through the mouth.
Allow yourself to become aware — not judgmental — just aware.
This work requires honesty and courage.
Setup Statement
(Karate Chop Point – repeat 3 times)
“Even though I notice controlling and disrespectful patterns in my relationship,
and even though part of me learned these behaviours to feel safe or in control,
I now choose to acknowledge them with honesty,
and I am open to learning healthier ways to relate, respect, and connect.”
Round 1 – Acknowledging the Pattern
Eyebrow:
“I notice my need to control”
Side of Eye:
“I struggle when things feel out of my control”
Under Eye:
“I react instead of responding”
Under Nose:
“I interrupt, dominate, or dismiss”
Chin:
“I don’t always show respect when I feel threatened”
Collarbone:
“I feel tense when things don’t go my way”
Under Arm:
“This controlling behaviour learned somewhere”
Top of Head:
“I’m becoming aware of it now”
Round 2 – Understanding the Root
Eyebrow:
“This behaviour isn’t random”
Side of Eye:
“It came from fear, insecurity, or past wounds”
Under Eye:
“Control made me feel safe once”
Under Nose:
“Disrespect was a defense, not my truth”
Chin:
“I learned survival, not connection”
Collarbone:
“I didn’t always know better”
Under Arm:
“I may have copied what I saw growing up”
Top of Head:
“I acknowledge the root without shame”
Round 3 – Taking Responsibility (Without Self-Attack)
Eyebrow:
“I take responsibility for my behaviour”
Side of Eye:
“I see how control damages trust”
Under Eye:
“I see how disrespect hurts intimacy”
Under Nose:
“I don’t want to relate this way anymore”
Chin:
“I choose maturity over dominance”
Collarbone:
“I choose partnership over power”
Under Arm:
“I can be strong without controlling”
Top of Head:
“I can lead without disrespect”
Round 4 – Releasing the Old Pattern
Eyebrow:
“I release the need to control”
Side of Eye:
“I release fear of losing power”
Under Eye:
“I release defensive reactions”
Under Nose:
“I release emotional aggression”
Chin:
“I release learned disrespect”
Collarbone:
“I don’t need control to feel safe anymore”
Under Arm:
“I am safe being calm and respectful”
Top of Head:
“I let this old pattern soften and dissolve”
Round 5 – Installing Healthy Behaviour
Eyebrow:
“I choose respect”
Side of Eye:
“I choose calm communication”
Under Eye:
“I choose listening instead of reacting”
Under Nose:
“I choose curiosity instead of control”
Chin:
“I choose emotional regulation”
Collarbone:
“I choose shared power and mutual respect”
Under Arm:
“I can pause before I speak”
Top of Head:
“I can respond like a grounded adult”
Round 6 – Re-Patterning Identity
Eyebrow:
“I am not my past behaviour”
Side of Eye:
“I am becoming emotionally mature”
Under Eye:
“I am learning healthier love”
Under Nose:
“I am safe without control”
Chin:
“I am strong and respectful”
Collarbone:
“I lead with calm, not force”
Under Arm:
“I choose connection over dominance”
Top of Head:
“I am healing how I show up in relationships”
Closing Integration
Place one hand on your chest.
Breathe slowly.
Say silently or aloud:
“I am learning.
I am responsible.
I am capable of respectful love.”
Allow this new pattern to settle into your nervous system.